Out, nonbinary singer-songwriter Kehlani is so done with people questioning their sexuality. Now the musician is dismissing folks who continue to bring up the high-profile men they’ve dated as “stuck in the past.”
Late last month, the two-time Grammy nominee took some time out from promoting their fourth studio album, Crash, to set the record straight in a couple of TikTok videos.
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“OK, so hear me out,” the R&B hitmaker said in one June 29 clip. “I was bisexual my entire life, and then I came out as a lesbian almost four years ago now. But when I realized, recently actually, all of the f**king elevation in my life that has come from de-centering men in every f**king area of it…” The singer paused to make a chef-kiss gesture before continuing.
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“In your spiritual spaces, in your practices, in who you’re being educated by, who you’re being taught by, in community, everything: When I prioritized women and also just centered myself and women? When all the bad b**ches decide what planet that they’re going to after we f**k this one, invite me, because I will thrive,” they added.
As Kehlani alluded to in their video, they have been very open about their evolving sense of their sexual and gender identity. The singer first came out as queer in a 2018 tweet.
“I’m queer. not bi, not straight. i’m attracted to women, men, REALLY attracted to queer men, non binary people, intersex people, trans people. lil poly pansexual papi hello good morning,” they wrote, adding, “i’m the LEAST attracted to straight men, y’all really adorable sometimes tho. bisexual men really are little gifts from god tho.”
In 2020, Kehlani opened up about being “on the non-binary scale.”
“My energy has always been extremely fluid between masculine and feminine so that’s why I use ‘queer’, and also, queer is inclusive to non-binary people,” they told DIVA Magazine. “But I still prefer and am totally fine with the pronoun ‘she.’”
The following year, they told Byrdie magazine that they had come to prefer the pronoun “they,” explaining that it “feels really affirming” and “like you really see me.”
In 2021, Kehlani also came out as a lesbian during an Instagram live stream. “You want to know what’s new about me? I finally know I’m a lesbian,” they said at the time.
But apparently some TikTok users still can’t get over the fact that Kehlani has previously dated men and welcomed a daughter in 2019.
“Bringing up the fact that I had a child, or bringing up ex-boyfriends from four years ago or before, bringing up situations from when I was 20? I’m 29. I will be 30 next year,” they clapped back at commenters in another June 29 TikTok post.
“I don’t know why there’s this inability to fathom that I’m a raging lesbian,” Kehlani continued. “And yes, my music is gay. Who I perform to and for is the gays. And, um, if you’re stuck in the past, it’s between you and your god. If you’re a man still bringing up my ex-boyfriends, just say you want to f**k ’em.”
Kehlani previously shut down questions about an ex-boyfriend during a June 24 interview with Hot 97. “I’m a lesbian, so why would I care about any male exes?” they responded when host Nessa Diab asked about rapper YG’s relationship with Saweetie.
“I also don’t care about what any of my exes are doing – male, female, anything,” Kehlani added. “My goal is everybody to be happy… And I love Saweetie!”
