A creepy masked nun looks for stabby fun in the Christmas horror movie “It’s a Wonderful Knife.”
When it comes to Christmas movies, there are two kinds of people: Ones who go for the heartwarming rom-coms, the fun family adventures, the films about togetherness, comfort and joy… and then there are the people who just wanna see some folks get totally and utterly owned by a psycho, but with a Christmas tree in the background.
For those in the latter camp, these three movies will jingle your bells and make your cheeks rosy (with blood spatter).
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Carnage for Christmas (2024)
Sometimes it can be hard for LGBTQ+ folks to return home for the holidays. Lola, a true-crime podcaster, is heading home to her small Australian town for the first time since her transition, and she’s low-key dreading it.
Her old friends and the police aren’t exactly welcoming, but things have gotten better in the years since she’s been away. Her sister introduces her to a bunch of new friends at the gay bar that sprung up while she was away. and things look set for a nice, cozy, found-family Christmas.
But shortly after Lola comes into town, The Toymaker, the killer from a local urban legend, starts picking off members of the town’s queer community. Lola has to use all her skills to unmask the killer and unravel a conspiracy, all while dealing with transphobic cops champing at the bit to pin the whole thing on her.
The film is written and directed by the trans horror auteur Alice Maio Mackay (Satranic Panic, T Blockers, Bad Girl Boogie) and edited by Vera Drew, the brilliant creator of the only Joker movie that matters, The People’s Joker.
Silent Night Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990)
There might not be a killer Santa in this movie like in the original Silent Night Deadly Night movie — heck, this installment honestly doesn’t seem to have any connection to the rest of the series beyond a delightfully creepy Clint Howard gleefully cackling at the third entry in the series — but it’s one of the better sequels to the OG classic.
Part 4 follows Kim, a reporter investigating the mysterious death of a flaming woman who leaped to death from the top of a building. Kim then gets mixed up with a cult of lesbian witches who employ Howard as their assistant henchman/kidnapper. All the spooky and conspiratorial action climaxes on Christmas as the cult tries to sacrifice Kim’s boyfriend’s little brother.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 is directed by Brian Yuzna — the body horror director behind the homoerotic class-conscious alien thriller Society (1989) and the zombie-esque prison flick Beyond Re-Animator (2003) — with great special effects by Screaming Mad George.
You can expect lots of wet puppet larvae and creepy roaches, giving the film a Naked Lunch-era Cronenbergian sort of vibe. It’s a grimy, unsettling movie perfect for when you’re just about ready to throw the tree in the woodchipper and put an end to Christmas.
It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)
As the title suggests, this film is a play on the quintessential 1946 Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life. Winnie’s dad is the lackey of the decidedly Trumpian richest man in town. During a Christmas party, a masked slasher kills her best friend and nearly kills her brother before she stops him with a couple of well-placed jumper cables clipped onto the killer’s shoulders.
A year later, though, her family refuses to talk about the unpleasant happenings. She doesn’t get into her desired art school and her brother gets a fancy truck for Christmas while she only gets some crappy workout clothes. No wonder Winnie starts to feel like she’d be better off not existing at all.
A little Christmas magic grants Winnie her wish. She was never born, and now the town is desolate with the killer allowed to run free. Her family is ruined with their only child brutally murdered and things are pretty much awful all around. It’s up to her and the only other person who believes her: the nonbinary “weird” kid with an as-of-yet unrequited crush on Winnie.
It’s a Wonderful Knife has a lot going for it. There’s a great cast with folks like Community’s Joel McHale, Barbarian’s Justin Long, Yellowjackets’ Jane Widdop and the delightful nonbinary actor Jess McLeod as Winnie’s ally and romantic partner Bernie. Though the film is much more horror than comedy, there are some solid gags that lighten the mood along with a genuinely tense climax.
Directed by Tyler MacIntire, who made the outstanding 2017 social media satirical slasher Tragedy Girls and written by Michael Kennedy, the scribe behind the body-swapping 2020 teen slasher Freaky, It’s a Wonderful Knife has a good pedigree.
Of course, there are other queer Christmas horror films — Christmas Presence comes to mind — as well as an increasing number of horror movies with queer side characters.
Chase Steven Anderson is a delight as Jakester in Adult Swim Yule Log 2: Branchin’ Out. But if you want to settle down with a movie you’ll love, any one of these three Christmas horror flicks could become your brand-new tradition. At the very least, it beats watching A Christmas Story yet again (for the true horror is boomer nostalgia.)
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