Black Bear
What To Know
- There’s a growing trend of sentient object romances in movies and literature.
- Wicker is the latest sentient object rom-com with the love interest being a basket.
- Alexander Skarsgård stars as the titular Wicker.
Wicker may be the sentient object romance of the moment, but it certainly isn’t the first. Hopefully, it’s not the last.
Alexander Skarsgård‘s basket-turned-man is one in a long line of inanimate objects that have magically come to life in the movie genre, though admittedly, most are horror. Just look at MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE and Chucky. But there have been a few with a love story angle, like ’80s rom-com Mannequin and, to a degree, Night at the Museum. (Technically, Ben Stiller‘s museum guard is in love with Amy Adams‘ wax statue of Amelia Earhart when she comes alive after-hours. We don’t blame him.) And who could forget Barbie?
Rest assured, there are plenty of sentient object romance books. Pretty much anything goes in the sentient object romance book genre, and the vast majority aren’t about human-like dolls getting a soul. Sometimes, the objects remain as they are, à la Toy Story. (Though, that’s too innocent an example for stories like these, which are mostly of the erotic variety.) Other times, they retain some of their original characteristics when they transform, or they fully turn into people. There are stories about rulers, markers, and even cheese turning into living love interests and capturing the heart of a human.
Let us just say, there are more sentient object romances than we could have ever imagined. Author Chuck Tingle, who may be credited for inventing the genre, alone has written dozens of them about different objects. Fairly recently, you may remember Vera Valentine’s “erotic door romance” Unhinged popping off a bit online. The author even created a list of over 100 different objects to read about from various writers. What you consider a sexy object is subjective, but there is certainly something out there for everyone.
Let’s get to the point. Though pretty much every object under the sun has already been featured in the genre, there are some we think would make for movies better than others.
A clock
We’re not envisioning a wrist watch, but we believe a wall clock would make for a good subject — or even a grandfather clock. A clock come to life would be all about punctuality, so that strictness could make for some hot scenarios. Plus, time never stops, so does he or she live forever like a vampire? There are so many directions we could take this. Technically, it also could be fan-fiction about Beauty and the Beast’s Cogsworth.
A knife
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. There’s even a book that could be adapted: Ruth Cardello’s third book in the A Lighthearted Utensil Romance series, Knifed. Honestly, any cutlery would make for a fun movie. Maybe the knife-turned-person could have knives for fingers or something like Edward Scissorhands.
A permanent marker
What if more brands took the Barbie route and made movies about their products coming to life? There’s also an unbranded permanent marker romance book out there, Imogen Knowed’s Marc. The titular character — who is ingeniously named — enters a polyamorous relationship with Alice and her sentient ruler boyfriend, Gage. A sentient permanent marker certainly wouldn’t have commitment issues.
A screwdriver
Too on the nose? We don’t think so. There’s no such thing in the sentient object genre.
A car
Transformers fan-fiction, anyone? Or it could take the route of that My Strange Addiction episode, where a guy falls in love with his car. Racing romances are the next big thing, after all.
A washing machine
Mad Men‘s Betty Draper would probably enjoy this one.
A pumpkin
Cinderella’s pumpkin turned into a carriage, so why couldn’t it turn into a man? Food or plants are trickier since they’re not exactly objects, but hey, if there’s a will there’s a way. Maybe it’s love at first sight at the pumpkin patch. We’d watch this Halloween romance movie.
A mirror
There’s probably a metaphor here. A mirror might know their love interest a little too well, admittedly.
A rock
“Would you still love me if I was a rock?” but in movie form. Obviously, they would have rock-hard abs, so that’s a plus. If we want to take it a step further, someone even wrote about a romance with rock, paper, and scissors.
Play-Doh (or clay)
What if more brands took the Barbie route and made movies about their products coming to life? Someone could fashion a person out of Play-Doh and fall in love with them. Or, if the branding route doesn’t work — admittedly, consumerism isn’t all that romantic — clay could work just as well. Just look at Clayface. Maybe an artist falls in love with their sculpture. Apparently, it’s already the framework of a Greek myth, so the story is already there.
A mountain
Go big or go home, right? We’ve seen this in fantasy stories before, so why not make give it a romance angle somehow? A mountain would be a solid, reliable love interest, surely.