A gay dad’s thoughts on the trials and tribulations of raising a straight son went viral last week as parents across the internet connected to his feelings.
The Brazil-based father posted in Portuguese under the handle @cleccio. According to X’s translation, he opened by saying that being the gay dad to a straight 16-year-old “is like playing life’s game on hard mode.”
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“People think it’s gonna be super ‘modern’ and easy,” he continued. “Spoiler: it’s not.”
He said when his son brings a girl home, he struggles with how to be a “cool dad” and worries about whether he should “dial back the gay or crank up the straight protective dad vibe.”
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He joked about his attempts to give advice on talking to girls, declaring, “Irony level: expert.”
“The real big challenge, though, is showing him that being a man doesn’t come with just one recipe,” he added. “I want him to know he can be strong, sensitive, protective, cry at movies, and still be a badass guy — no matter his sexual orientation. (Sometimes he rolls his eyes at too much of it, but I know it sticks).”
“In the end, being a dad is this: navigating the chaos with love, patience, and a ton of humor,” he concluded. “Being gay just adds extra layers of sarcasm and creativity to the manual nobody handed us.”
The post has received over 2.5 million views and has been shared more than 3.5 thousand times. The more than 750 comments include other gay parents commiserating about the challenges, while simultaneously praising one another for the love they are giving their kids.
“How nice to see your story,” one person wrote. “I also have a 16-year-old straight son who, even though he doesn’t talk to me about girls, loves theater, good conversations, and gets indignant about inequalities. I still have my fears and hold myself accountable for raising him well, but I love living with him every day.”
Another person pointed out that his account shows how “the challenges of fatherhood are very similar for everyone.”
“In the end, it doesn’t matter the parents’ sexual orientation—the concern for the kids, the relationships, the future, and the values they’ll carry is the same,” the user wrote. “I also liked the way you show that being a man doesn’t have to follow a single mold. Teaching respect, sensitivity, responsibility, and empathy is way more important than any stereotype. And even when teenagers seem not to listen, they end up holding onto a lot of what they learn at home… In the end, your text shows that the most important thing is raising a child with love, dialogue, and the freedom to be who they are.”
A third person wrote, “Mine’s entering adolescence. Even though we’re open to talking about everything, she keeps some things to herself, and that bothers me, but I know it’s normal for her age. But you know how it is, every day is a challenge, and if it’s feeling easy, it’s because we’re doing something wrong. Congrats on the boy there. It’s gonna work out!”
Brazil has extremely LGBTQ+ friendly laws, including marriage equality, a conversion therapy ban, and hate crime and discrimination protections for both sexual orientation and gender identity. There are also no restrictions for adults to legally chang their gender, and LGBTQ+ adoption is legal. Gender-affirming care, however, remains illegal for minors.
According to Equaldex, 48% of Brazilians support LGBTQ+ people being open about their identities, compared to 15% who oppose openness. Approximately 73% reported that the area where they live in the country is a “good place” for gays and lesbians. Also, 56% of Brazilians also support teen access to gender-affirming care.
In 2023, the country’s high court ruled that homophobic hate speech is on par with racial hate speech and punishable with a prison sentence of two to five years. The Supreme Court’s 9-1 ruling stated it was a “constitutional imperative” for LGBTQ+ people in the country to have this protection.
Brazil’s current president, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, is a staunch supporter of LGBTQ+ rights.
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